love

To get over somebody, get under somebody

I think this mentality works for both genders.  To get over Alex, I really have been getting under some people!  The discovery of Tinder has been exciting.  It only took me a week on there to fuck my first lady on there.  She’s some “open relationship” married lady.  Whatever, I’m sure she’s a cheater, which is ok.  So am I.  Dead lay, complaining too much about health issues.  She pulled the condom trick though.  Wait, you don’t know the condom trick?

So I have the extremely nice asset of being vasectomy safe.  Guys, if you can pull off getting snipped, you have a major ace in the hole.  I cannot explain how big of an appeal it is.  In fact, I have told people before I am snipped and the next thing they say is “Here’s my address”.  It’s crazy.  And don’t be intimidated…it doesn’t hurt.  I know I’m a freak of nature, but I was snipped at 9am, in the car on the way home at 10:30am, icing all day and banging my ex-wife at 5pm.

So the condom trick as I call it is when women say, and they always say, “Oh I require condoms”.  It’s always babies, worried about catching something or whatever.  They are pretty insistent and really it’s probably a good idea.  I rarely fuck with one on and only once caught the clap or gonorrhea and that was a super sketchy situation and served me right to suffer for two weeks.  Anyways, the condom trick is when they say this and never go through with it, sometimes in scandalous ways, which end up being very sexy.  This girl was very insistent….until I had her laying down and was kissing and grinding on her and then she looked in my eyes and said, “You for sure your clean?” and grabbed my cock and pulled me in.

Some of the sexier moments of the condom trick have been swinging.  The husbands always say condom required, esp in my case cause my wife is fertile and is paranoid.  But once another wife after fooling around flipped over and slide back on me.  She knew I didn’t put one on…and I was making it very known when I was gonna cum and she just fucked me harder and made me cum in her.  I’ve had women, once their man starts playing with my wife or another, reach down and actually yank my condom off and make me keep fucking.  I’ve had a several whisper in my ear as I’m missionary, “cum in my pussy”.  It’s very hot!  It also adds to my theory about women being very scandalous.

Anyways, so one and done with her, then I found another Tinder girl. Sadly she was really cool and would have been a great friend, but I wasn’t too attracted to her.  We fucked twice and it was pretty fun cause she kept cumming over and over and also did the condom trick.  She was pissed when I told her I would not mind being her b/f but that I’m married too and we swing.  I thought she would take it better.  Oh well, she wasn’t that great.

A couple of day ago I finally sealed the deal with a cheating wife from Craigslist. Horrible lay, even though she was cute.  A BBW, which I don’t mind, but don’t be lame.  She also did the condom trick and I was hoping she wouldn’t want to come over again, but already hit me up for a date next week.  We’ll see.

So now I am up to 235 pieces of ass in my life.  I need to hit 250 by the end of the year.  My numbers are too low.

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Why I am making this?

You probably don’t know me.  I’m just a regular guy, unassuming.  But then again, maybe you do.  I could be your neighbor, your co-worker, maybe even your husband.

Since we’ll never know if you really know me, I suppose I should give myself some sort of cover name.  John, Gary….Marc?  Something tacky like X?  Let’s just settle on H for now.

I set here late at night, on my computer up to no good, as usual, except this time is different.  I actually set here brokenhearted.  See, I disobeyed a cardinal rule of my life and fell in love.  It was marvelous and I don’t regret a minute of it, but of course it bit me in the ass.  So as I set here trolling the internet for hookups and porn, I am thinking about all my past exploits and adventures and realized I have had way more than my fair share of fun.  I guess I figured it was time to talk about some of these things, since the great bulk of my life has been a secret.

Maybe people will find this entertaining or as a cautionary tale or perhaps no one will even see it.  I’m really writing it for me, so it will continue regardless.  But if you are reading this…I’ll post often.